Five things I’ve done in the past week (you know, other than update this website, obviously).

1. I wrote some things: directions for better laundering, a recap of the OctoMom reality TV special, and a review of the world’s cutest lunch boxes.

2. I exercised! I have either walked or shredded every day for the past ten days (except the one day when I cleaned the playroom which was more of a workout than even Jillian Michaels could provide, I swear to you). I’m saving the 30 Day Shred for days when the weather is crummy, so mostly I’m walking, but soon I will be shredding all the time. Promise.

3. I cleaned. Not just the playroom but EVERYTHING in my whole damn house! There’s a long story about why I’ve been cleaning (which sadly does not involve a spontaneous visit from TheHeatherB) but let’s just say my house is cleeeeeaaaaaan. So clean. And it’s making me really really happy.

4.  I molded a mouth guard for Charlie, with the help of Facebook and my little cousin Ryan (who is an attorney and married and not so little any more, but who will always be my little cousin). Wade was in charge of the first mouth guard, and bless his heart, he tried, but it wound up a melted mass of plastic, which was not the goal. I still cannot believe that mah baybee is playing football, but at least I know that his teeth will survive the season. Which is a good thing, since I’m still paying for the last dentist visit.

5. I had my first Facebook-related parenting crisis, and no, it did not involve anyone’s topless girlfriend (OMG that’s totally looming in my future, isn’t it? lalalala I can’t hear you). The deal is this: there are a group of third-grade moms from the boys’ school who all hang out on Facebook (hi, girls!) which is great because it’s not like we have time to actually get together and have coffee (although we did have dinner and drinks one night last week, which was another fun thing I did when I wasn’t updating this website — wait, where was I? Oh, right). So we’ve been talking about the third grade homework (oh the HOMEWORK! you cannot imagine).

Anyway, at 5:30 one morning last week, I check in with Facebook and one mom’s status update is a funny story about how her son forgot until after bedtime that he was supposed to make a family tree! And I’m all OMG FAMILY TREE WTH I DID NOT SEE ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE PLANNER! (Henry has a planner that I have to sign every day, and do not say one bad word about it because I love the planner — seriously.) So now I have a dilemma because I know about homework that Henry does not appear to know about and I have to decide if I will ask him about the family tree, or just let him figure it out when he gets to school.

After I banged my head against the desk for a while, I decided that I was NOT going to say anything to H, because third grade needs to be the Year of Learning to Be Responsible. And I was totally good with that until approximately ten minutes before we had to get in the car and leave for school, at which point I had a total nervous breakdown.

But I did not tell Henry about the assignment. And — hooray! — it turned out not to be actual homework after all! Yay! Crisis averted. (Although you had better believe that I’m triple checking the hell out of that planner now. EVERY SINGLE DAY.)

Recap: My baby is playing football and my older child is freaking me out via Facebook. Suddenly I am the mom of teenagers. The end.

(See why I couldn’t update the blog this week? Do you SEE?!?)

Completely unrelated but way more fun than any of that stuff: when I was in Chicago last month, I spent some time with BlogTalk Radio, dishing about mommy blogs and marketing and my shoes. Because I know you’re dying to hear my voice, right? Right.