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warning: this post contains explicit photos

Filed Under good people on October 21, 2007

Are you DYING to know how my trip to Sephora went? ARE YOU?!?

You should be! Because Sephora? Meh. Not impressed.

(That sound you hear is HeatherB and Whoorl falling over dead. Sorry, girls.)

The Sephora here in Oklahoma City (upstairs at Penn Square Mall, where Casual Corner used to be, Whoorl) is small, for starters, and doesn’t carry most of what is on their website. Which makes it difficult to scope out product on the internet and then check it out in person. And I am someone who MUST touch the product before I buy. I’m like that. Get over it.

But more than the limited selection was the staff, who seemed more interested in their own makeup than in helping customers buy any. Or at least, in helping ME. Shana had to chase someone down more than once, and it took us THREE tries to find anyone who could answer our questions about Bare Escentuals.

We talked to one guy who either wasn’t listening or wasn’t understanding us (I think NOT LISTENING because when we went to Prescriptives, the VERY NICE woman there had NO TROUBLE understanding what Shana was saying, and thank god she was there to translate because I was all I CAN HAZ NICE SKIN! and I WOULD LIKE BE 20 AGAIN! and she was able to communicate what I wanted). And then there was the guy who not only didn’t listen but tried to make me look like Boy George. Because that’s what HIS eye makeup looked like, and it was working for him, so OF COURSE it would work for me.

Or not, as the case may be!

[Aside: I have no problem with a male makeup artist, but a male makeup artist who is wearing MORE MAKEUP THAN I WEAR kind of freaks me out. I’m sorry, but it’s true. End aside.]

I came home with foundation and concealer from Prescriptives, and a Stila blush and a Dior mascara from Sephora. I LOVE the blush, I’m nervous about the foundation, and HELLO PEOPLE AT SEPHORA, ALL THREE OF YOU WHO HELPED US, WHEN I SAID I WANTED WATERPROOF MASCARA I MEANT WATERPROOF, NOT WASHES OFF WITH WATER AND SMUDGES ALL THE HELL OVER MY FACE.

Argh. Although it DOES make my lashes long! and lush! At least until it starts to smudge all over my face. ARGH.

In summary (I hate it when people say that, don’t you?), Sephora was disappointing. I’m not saying I won’t go back, but I would probably go to The Makeup Bar instead. In fact, I’m going there TOMORROW, to get eye cream! And maybe some shadow! Because the girls who work there don’t look like Boy George!

But let’s get to the pictures. You might want to send the children out of the room for this first one. Sorry.

This is me, first thing in the morning. Hello, world! And hello, husband! He must really love me.

Terralina makes the BEST FACE CREAM EVER. I can’t say enough good things about this stuff; it’s all natural and made with olive oil and it smells like a really delicious tea cake. I’ve been using it for maybe six months and my skin has honestly never been better. BUY IT NOW. Seriously.

Also: always wear sunscreen! Even when it’s cloudy! Thank you!

New stuff: concealer and foundation from Prescriptives (still in their boxes as I write this because I fear change and it’s a BIG COMMITMENT changing foundations, you all), Stila blush that I love love LOVE, and the not waterproof but still pretty awesome Dior mascara.

Amazing what a little foundation and powder can do. Phew.

Current foundation and powder. Love the powder (Maybelline! from SuperTarget! for like $6.00!). Not sure if I love the foundation. Not sure about anything these days.

Done! Although I took most of the brow stuff off because DUDE. Those were some scary brows.

I learned a couple of things: I probably need to be using moisturizer AND City Block together in the morning, because my skin is getting older and needs all the help it can get. I also need a better eye cream, because by the end of the day yesterday the concealer was making me look a little crepey around the eyes, which was kind of sad. I also need to figure out how to photograph myself so that my head doesn’t look so much like a giant acorn.

Moral: beauty is HARD WORK. The end.

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Wow! I looked at the first pic and thought, maybe I should get myself some of that make-up stuff too. Her skin tone is so even and wrinkles, well there aren’t any. And then I realized that was the before picture. So, uhm, yeah. But the last picture? Gorgeous! And a reminder that my brows have morphed into muppets and must be dealt with post haste.

OK, you know those compliments where it winds up being an insult? I DO NOT WANT to say anything like, “Wow, you look great with makeup one!” Because I DO NOT think you look bad without. In fact, I think you are pretty hot first thing in the morning. And I think you look way less than 40, not just months less.

THAT SAID. Holy hell, woman, you lost ten years with that makeup job.

And finally, I like your hair color. (It did get darker, yes? I am not all crazy? I do make things up sometimes.)

You look fab! (And you must, SIMPLY MUST, go to the Makeup Bar. I went to school with those beautiful ladies.)

I know everyone is extolling the virtues of this that and the other thing. But I am RIGHT! Go to MAC, find a MAC counter.

the end

although i do love bare escentuals.

p.s. you are gorgeous from start to finish

Scrumptious, S. In all the pictures.

No wonder Wade buys you coffee.

Annika, that was the whole goal! So yay! And thank you! And yes, my hair is darker, and almost back to its natural color after the Great Color Disaster of ‘07. Sigh.

The Dior mascara is going back. Stila is the Best Blush EVER. Jury is still out on the foundation and concealer; I think I need better eye cream to make the concealer really work it’s magic. Taking care of that today.

Oh, I’m not nearly finished. There will be more of this. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

(soft moan)
The Penn Square Mall!
Stop by Braums and have a burger for me…no, wait, go to Flip for the lasagna.

Return the mascara to Sephora. They give full returns, even on used product. No reason to live with black streaks!

Look at those eyes! They just don’t quit (I know that is supposed to be about bodies, but it fits here, I think). Lovely before and even lovelier after. Pretty girl!

Do you have Ulta there? Might be worth a trip…

Seriously, your skin looks great before. *Sigh*

Beautiful photos — you look good

YOU SO PRETTY!

Wow! I think you look great in all the photos but especially pretty in the last one. I’ve started collecting some new makeup over the past couple of months at Target and the supermarket but I think I need to go to a “real” store and take care of some business soon.

You are lovely Susan. Like Catherine, I thought the before picture was the after picture! I should look as good after I’ve had my shower and put my makeup on as you look when you get out of bed.

I fear men wearing more makeup than me also. When I went to the Bare Escentuals store, the guy who did my makeup seriously was wearing that hot pink lipstick you see on old ladies. And it? Did not flatter him. Also, he had waist-length greasy hair. And he made me look hideous - I looked like a hooker.

Similarly, I would not get a haircut from a man or woman sporting a mullet or a mom perm.

Wow, so pretty! =)

Susan, you’re adorable. That is all.

Your eyes look soooo pretty! I think you convinced me to get some of that Terralina stuff too. Now it had better not be 10 million dollars! If it is, I’m gonna have to come back here and beat you up through my computer screen!

Seriously Susan, you are beautiful w/no makeup on and wowza! with. So… we can never be real life friends. So sad.

Yeah - the makeover looks great - but, you had some great material to work with…NO FAIR!

I don’t think it sounds like the OKC Sephora gave Sephora in general a fair chance. If you are ever in Dallas, head to the one in North Park Mall. It even has a spa inside. And a friendly man that is exactly like Felicity’s coffee shop boss. If he notices you taking an interest in a product, he goes to the back and sneaks you a pile of samples. I want to marry him.

It’s a date! Because you were TOTALLY offering to go with me, right?

I need an escort when I shop for makeup. You think I’m kidding but I’m not.

The new Define a Lash mascara from Maybelline, the one in the green tube, with the kinky rubber brush, is to all other mascara what Belgian is to all other chocolate.

Yes, I said it. Maybelline. At Wal-Green’s. And I have been around the department store block a time or two (thousand). And I have skimpy, sparse, short lashes. Trust me on this one.

As for eye cream, well, there I am an elitist snob. Arbonne Nutrimin. It costs your first born child. But he’s probably part of the problem, so why not make him part of the solution?

Foundation. Neutrogena’s Healthy Skin tinted moisturizer with the spf 30 and the retinol. It’s awesome. And you get it at Target.

Any excuse to go to Sephora. You seem nice, so I’m willing to share super fantastic makeup man with you. It’s a pretty darn big deal.

And then we can go to J.Crew. It will be fabulous.

I’d kill for your ‘before’ skin. The end.

You look fabulous Susan. I’m not sure I was ready for those pictures though. Yow. That sunscreen/lotion shot was a bit spicey for my taste.

Oh I love this.

By the way, I’ve seen you live and in person at 5:30 in the morning and you sure as hell look hotter than I do with a face full of make up. So there you go.

Okay, first? You’re lovely as you are.
Second? The snobby stick-insect bulimcs at Sephora in Providence can just bite me, because i refuse to deal with them a’tall after their crap-ass attitudiness. So there.
Third - I am “fair skinned”. IE: If I were any more ‘fair skinned’, I would be freaking SEE THROUGH. I have freckles. And wrinkles. AND ZITS. My eyes are small and my lashes are long but LOOK non existent because while the first 1/3 of them is dark, the remaining 2/3 are INVISIBLE, like my incredible disappearing eyebrows. My cheekbones are buried in my chipmunk cheeks, and they’re not high enough to matter anyway. Also I have a weak jaw.

So maybe the stick-insect snobs at Sephora in Providence just weren’t up for that kind of challenge, but sheesh.

I hate makeup now; a tube of tinted moisturizer with SPF (seriously, from CVS, $6), a 99 cent pencil in taupe to fluff up my eyebrows and a quick dusting with Clinique’s Posy blush are what is required for me to go out in public and NOT be asked “Are you sick?”

If I want to get really nuts, I curl my lashes and swipe on some of my (hoarded) stash of Revlon’s (inexplicably discontinued) Lash Tint with some Clinique translucent lip balm.

I’m just so fancy.

It’s sad, really.

But you look great.

I hear that taking the pic from above is supposed to help. Yet, then everyone sees that it’s WAY past time to get my hair done.

Javier (that’s Felicity’s boss’ name- Finally remembered) is chubby. And not stick-insect bulimic in any way. All the more reason to LOVE him.

Kyran said:

“As for eye cream, well, there I am an elitist snob. Arbonne Nutrimin. It costs your first born child. But he’s probably part of the problem, so why not make him part of the solution?”

And THAT is why I love Kyran so…

You are beautiful with or without makeup. But I have to agree, I love the Stila blush too!

Shash

I’ll forgive you for not loving Sephora because you’re so pretty.

I totally hate mascara that comes off, and for me even waterproof comes off all over my face within hours. Until I found my new love, that is.

Benefit makes this stuff called She-Lac and it is a product that makes anything waterproof. Now I just but the crap pink maybelline mascara and throw a coat of this over top and I am good for the WHOLE day. You can even use it over eyeliner, another problem spot of mine.

[…] the girl who has a hard time committing to a $16.00 tube of concealer; you can imagine what the whole Furnishing the Dining Room proposition is doing to […]

I’m sorry your Sephora is teh suck. We finally got one and I swear to GOD I had an orgasm in the middle of the store.

Also, I’m loving the eye cream from Philosophy. I am actually loving all their skin care line, but especially their micropeel because I swear for like 2 hours after I have a face that feels like a baby bottom.

And I think the correct response is… wow, you look great with a smile. And will you be my mommy and teach me how to do MY make-up? Because I never have that sort of transformation at the end. I end up looking like me, only clownier.

You are GORGEOUS! Screw Sephora, you obviously don’t need them.

You look fab! Before AND after!

You should definitely take the mascara back, unless you want to keep it for non-waterproof usage.

The Stila Sport Waterproof (I think that’s what it’s called) does NOT come off! Had to use some industrial waterproof removing remover to get that stuff off!

Susan,

We are so happy that you like TERRALINA skincare!….Glad that it’s good for your already beautiful and healthy looking skin! Wee are coming out with a Facial Moisturizer with sun protection next year!
Cheers,
Gina

BTW, I tried the Terralina mositurizer and I love it. It’s the first moisturizer that makes my skin feel good without feeling oily.

Very sad news that the Sephora counter was not all that and a bag of chips. I am moving back to OKC (my home … which my Air Force husband has dragged me away from these past twenty years) in three weeks, and one of the things I was most looking forward to was having a Sephora at hand and not having to rely on my mad internet shopping skillz.

Other OKC things I am looking forward to :

1. City Bites. Fabulousness on a bun.
2. Cinnamon rolls from Grandys.
3. Braums ice cream whenever I want it.

Funny, my top three all involve food. I have no idea why I’m fat.

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