Friday Playdate » Blog Archive » three! hours! sleep!

I went today to get a second set of passport photos, because apparently a passport isn’t enough to get me into another country this summer; I also need a tourist visa. My passport photo makes me look like a drunk serial killer, while this photo only makes me look like a detoxing crack addict. Step up, I think!

I spent the whole afternoon wondering what Angelina Jolie’s passport photo looks like. Do you think she looks like crap, too? My friend Angie said, “She probably looks like a real person. I mean, it would be weird to go for a passport photo in full makeup.”

“Yeah,” I said, “but it might have been nice if I had actually PUT some makeup on. Any makeup. At all. And maybe brushed my hair. You know.”

“Yes,” she said, “that would have been good.”

* * * * *

Charlie and I played a game today: I laid on Henry’s bed, struggling not to fall asleep, while he snuck in and out of the room, asking me “AM I HERE NOW?” and every time I opened my eyes to see where he was, he collapsed in laughter and yelled, “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN YOUR EYES!”

I don’t know what the point was, but it was fun.

* * * * *

Henry: Mom, I have a weird red spot on my knee.

Me: Let’s see, buddy. Where is it?

Henry: Right here, in my knee pit.

Me: Oh of course.

This followed a conversation where the boys took turns smelling Charlie’s feet and trying to convince me that I should do the same. I declined.

* * * * *

Recently I’ve had several really lovely emails from people who read this blog, about books and graduate school and kids and I don’t know what all. And also recently I realized that when I read emails from my phone and delete them from the phone, they are PERMANENTLY DELETED and I cannot ever respond to them or even find them again.

Technology is not my friend.

If you have emailed me, thank you so very much — I’m not ignoring you I am just too stoopid to make my gadgets really work for me. I think I have the phone all figured out now, and I would love to hear from you again. From now on, I am only deleting crazy ParentDish comments. Promise.

Now who wants to smell Charlie’s feet?

16 Comments so far

I don’t think that even with no makeup and after a night of no sleep and heavy drinking Angelina would look like a regular person.

Boy feet? Um. I’ll pass. But, thanks for the offer. Mighty Oklahoma kind of yuh.

Yeah, that’s all well and good, but did YOU get to pull a splinter roughly the size of a two by four from a festering wound in one of the boys’ feet today?

Cause if not then you had a GREAT day.

gag.

I am 50 pounds heavier in my passport photo than my Visa photo. I hope the red menace doesn’t detain me. KIDDING! hopefully.

Angelina is not real. She’s a fabrication of US, People and In Touch. As are all her children. And maybe even Brad Pitt.

Hmmmm….I wonder if your son’s knee pit is akin to my son’s “leg elbow”???

I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to have a passport photo that actually looks good. Lucky for me, mine looks like crap.

It’s a mystery to me too, but my boys think feet smelling is hilarious!

In my house we have knee pits and elbow pits.

I love games where you get to lay on a bed and close your eyes! Feet smelling games, not so much.

Hope the whole work/home/summer balance thing is evening out.

That will be a lot of deleting, then.

I bet Charlie’s feet smell like over-ripe peaches, and grass, and bubble gum. Kind of like what I imagine unicorn vomit would smell like.

Not that I spend a lot of time wondering what unicorn vomit would smell like, O.K.? ‘Cause I don’t spent a LOT of time thinking about it, O.K.?

ha! knee pits and smelling feet. that’s what little boys are made of.

OK…I didn’t know you wrote for ParentDish so I just clicked over to start reading…ummmm…your commenters over there? THEY ARE CRAZY! How do you put up with all that? I saw a couple of perfectly normal responses…but they were few and far between the CRAZIES. Ugh!

knee pit! too cute!

And yay for purty iPhones (boo for permanent deleting!)

My passport photo makes me look like I have two black eyes. And a very shiny forehead.

Joy.

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