Friday Playdate » Blog Archive » life list: make a wish

Filed Under life list on June 8, 2010

Yesterday I started week 7 of Couch to 5K. In case that sounds like gibberish to you, let me translate: I ran for 25 minutes, without stopping. And because of the route I have chosen in my neighborhood, I swear to you that I ran every single step of that 2-ish miles uphill.

No lie.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to another mom from my children’s school, an experienced marathoner, and I told her, in a very quiet little voice, that I want to run the half marathon at the Memorial next spring. “Do some hill training,” she advised, very seriously. In general, Oklahoma City is not known for its hills, but when I thought about it, I realized that the route for the Memorial (downtown to Lake Hefner and back again) is indeed pretty hilly. Or at least uphill for the first half.

So I’m running the hills. And so far, it’s not killing me.

When I’m not running uphill both ways at 5:30 in the morning, I’m reading The Wishing Year, a book Chris sent me a few weeks back. I cannot put it down; I’m finding it mesmerizing in the same way that I found both Eat, Pray, Love and The Happiness Project mesmerizing, and for the same reasons. Noelle Oxenhandler chronicles her “deliberate attempt to make three very different wishes come true — the wish for a house, the wish for a new love, and the wish for spiritual healing.” She writes, “As I see it, a wish begins with a desire — a desire for things to be somehow other than they are.”

I have a lovely house, and a lovely husband, and I’m not really in need of spiritual healing, but that idea of wanting things to be “somehow other than they are” spoke to me. People have been asking me whatever possessed me to start running again, after quite literally 20 years of not running, and I’ve been floundering for an answer. In the end, it’s a lot of things and one thing, all together.

It’s the desire for things to be somehow other than they are, really.

Perhaps two years ago, Wade found out that his cholesterol was a wee bit high, not enough for him to need medication, but enough that his doctor suggested he think about some lifestyle changes. So, after ten years of not riding, he bought a new bike and got back on the road.

The cycling made me crazy, but it took me a long time to figure out why. I assumed that I was annoyed by the way the riding complicated our schedule, because 100+ miles each week takes a long time to do. But that wasn’t really it (and honestly, Wade is fantastic about finding time to ride around all the other things we need to get done). What was really irking me was that Wade was able to step back and take time to do something solely for himself, while I was not.

I don’t know why I woke up seven weeks ago and decided to start running. I just know that it appears that this was what I was wishing for.

Noelle Oxenhandler talks about the first step in wishing being “putting it out there” — letting the universe know what it is that you are wishing for. It sounds hokey, but I’m telling you, it works. When I started running, I told people — Kristen, Chris, Wade — what I was planning — a 5K, a half marathon, a marathon — and the more I said the words, the more possible that wish became. I wrote the dates for races on my calendar — September 25, October 9, February 20, May 1.

I set smaller goals along the way: finish C25K in 9 weeks, run a 30 minute 5K, run 10K. So far, I’m totally on schedule, which is perfect for me.

I don’t know that wishes — or life lists — are supposed to have schedules, but checking these small things off my list in an orderly fashion is making me feel like I can do other, bigger things. I am thinking carefully about what else I want to wish for, about what else I should put on my life list, and about how I can make those things happen.

Even if it’s uphill both ways.

18 Comments so far
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Thanks for posting this. I have been desperately trying to finish my dissertation (while having a family and working full-time). I have a deadline to meet but I haven’t “put it out there”. Somehow, I used to think that would be a bad thing. Now, I realize telling people my goal is a great step towards finishing. Not sure why I didn’t realized this before. Thanks for the added motivation!

I’m definitely picking up the books you mentioned. I firmly believe in the think it, say it, do it mentality (that’s how I got to my half marathon next month after a lifetime of never running). I’ll see you at the Austin Half-drinks on us!
Great luck training.

What an interesting way of looking at things. Because, you know, it’s true — I know I like to change things up, and I think that’s exactly why. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like change equals progress equals getting things closer to my idea of perfect, or if it’s something else. But I like having a phrase to turn to when I start to wonder.

(PS - You’re such an inspiration with the running. I couldn’t be more proud of you!)

Fantastic! I will pick up that book. I read The Happiness Project after you wrote about it and loved it. I think it’s great that you’re back at it and it sounds like you’re doing so well! I look forward to hearing about your upcoming races.

My marathon is 11 days away–nervous? Me? Never. HA!

BTW–I’ve been meaning to boss you some more on running supplies You’re going to need a fuel belt when you get into the higher mileage. I put the little water bottles at my back, not near my tummy, and it’s quite comfy. The name is actually fuel belt and they come in fun colors. The OK weather will have to thirsty on your long runs.

I love, love, loved The Wishing Year, and those other two books. I’m so inspired by your running, Susan. I need to take time to care for myself on the working out front. Keep it up!

This is so great, Susan - you’re such an inspiration. I’ve just done Day 1, Week 1 or C25K…again. It’s like the third time I’ve started it over the last 2 months, and this time…I’m NOT going to give up.

No, no, no. I’m not.

And I’m cheering for you!

Keep up the running - good work!!

I’ll be doing week 3, day 2 of C25K tomorrow. I’m putting it out there…I want to be able to finish this in 9 weeks

Just over 5 years ago, I was told I’d never run again b/c of problems I had birthing babies. Last month, I ran my first 5k in 8 years. It felt great. I doubt I’ll go any further than that, but I am so impressed by anyone with a goal of 5 miles, 10k, and further—-as well as those of us for whom 3 miles seemed like a marathon just a short time ago.

I do my life goals on a schedule too. This year I decided to finally write the book I’ve been talking about and planning for 3 years. I started in January, and determined that I would write one chapter per month, to finish by Dec. 31 (I don’t know for sure how many chapters I will need, but I estimated that about 12 would be good.) This schedule has worked tremendously so far–because how do you get yourself going and keep yourself accountable without a schedule?–but now, June, things have stalled. My children are now out of school, so I’ve lost my 3 hours per week of writing time (the only time they were both at their little schools). I have not written a word on the book so far this month. I will have to figure out an alternate path.

Unrelatedly—the cover of that book is CRAZILY close to the cover of Stacy Morrison’s new memoir, “Falling Apart in One Piece”! Honestly–it’s CRAZY! Take a look:
http://www.amazon.com/FALLING-APART-ONE-PIECE-OPTIMISTS/dp/1416595562/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276089155&sr=8-1

Isn’t that strange? Anyway, Stacy’s book is AMAZING also. So well-written, and gripping.

Susan, you are such an inspiration! I couldn’t agree more about “putting it out there.” Your goals and life lists have totally motivated me to create my own. Life seems like an awful waste if you don’t have things to work towards.

So, with that, I have started a little list of things that I really want to accomplish in my life. It is so empowering to be able to check them off!

Inspiring me, thank you! (and well done, keep going, I know you will do it!)

I am def. going to check out this book. I LOVED eat, pray, love and am currently devouring the happiness project. I think that I am looking for some changes in my life while in the process of finding who I am.

Thank you for sharing your journey.

This year is the year that I found something I liked doing for exercise. It is hard, but like you I like the time alone. No work, no kid, no husband, just me.

I wished a long time ago that I would find a way to stay active I could maintain. I hope this is it.

So, are you going to run the 5K at BlogHer?

I want to read this book now too! You’ve inspired me to get off the couch, I’ll have you know. But I’m not running, just walking 30 minutes, five days a week. And solely because of you. I don’t know if I’m “letting the universe know”, but simply writing my 2010 goals down and posting them somewhere I see them is making me move closer towards each one. Thanks for sharing.

PLEASE do keep writing about your running goals and achievements. I need to hear it’s possible. I’m slogging away, but it feels uphill ALL THE TIME.

I am doing the couch to 5k too! The difference is that I’ve never run before in my life. I turned forty a couple of months ago and that seems to shed a new light on everything.I have not been brave enough to tell anyone but my husband and my therapist that I’m doing it. I think I’m afraid I won’t succeed or that I’ll disappoint people. I am on week 4 and tomorrow I am doing the 3rd run. You are inspiring me! Also I just finished the Happiness Project, so will put that other title on my library list. Happy to have found you!

I picked up The Wishing Year after your mention and am loving it! And I have read the Happiness Project blog for ages. I’m wondering if you have any other books to recommend — fiction for fun or inspirational.

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