Friday Playdate » Blog Archive

Last night, Henry said, ‘Mom, can I tell you a joke?’

‘Sure,’ I said.

He begins, ‘Two cats walk in to a tree,’ and I think oh, no, he’s too young for these jokes (because, of course, with a set-up like that, it was bound to end in a bar with a priest and a rabbi and . . . anyway).

He says, ‘Two cats walk in to a tree.’ He pauses dramatically. ‘OUCH! OUCH!’

I laughed so hard I nearly fell off the bed.

My whole weekend was like that, just kind of random and silly, but not really worth reporting on. Today I really wanted to write about something–anything!–besides poop and making out, but other than Henry’s joke, I’ve got nothing.

Fortunately, Kyra tagged me with this fun meme (and you should ALL go read her blog–she is funny and wicked smart). So here we go . . .

What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

1. leased a car

2. dropped a really terrific literary theory class in college to take Japanese (because a boy I liked suggested it)

3. saved all of Henry’s baby pictures to the hard drive of my now virtually dead laptop

At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

Henry and Charlie (what, you thought I might say Bradley Whitford?)

If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?

1. Barack Obama
2. Jane Austen
3. Michael Ondaatje
4. Coco Chanel
5. Frances Burney

If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

1. bigger boobs without surgery
2. Charlie would poop in the potty (hey, look, I’m still talking about poop!)
3. no more autism, of any kind, for anyone, ever

Name two things you regret your city not having…

1. actual liberal Democrats
2. Whole Foods Market

…and two things people should avoid.

1. granny panties with low-rise pants
2. talking to me, particularly if you require actual conversation, before my first cup of coffee

Name one thing that has changed your life:

this blog (how lame is that?)

Tag!

You all are so very good at tagging yourselves; have at it! Let me know when you’re finished–I want to see who you would have to dinner.

15 Comments so far

henry’s joke is a riot!! and i love your answers! particularly about no autism, anywhere, for anyone. thanks for playing!

p.s. i consider myself warned about pre-coffee conversation! ditto over here. tee hee.

Back in the 80s there were plenty of honest-to-God liberal Democrats in Oklahoma, but I think they got scared and went underground (or moved away). I suspect you can still find pockets of them at the First Unitarian Church in OKC and in various spots around Campus Corner in Norman. You’ll know them by the faded place on the back of their car where their Darwin fish was before someone scraped it off with a pocketknife, or maybe by the hint of a gleam in their eyes when you whisper the magic words “FROSTY TROY.”

Every parents dream is Poo in the potty….1 down 2 children left to train…

Okay, the first of your three wishes could TOTALLY be remedied with the Official Boob Plan.

And would everyone be having dinner together? Or would you be having intimate tete-a-tetes with each of these people separately? It’s important to know, I think.

good grief! I have had coffee and I still don’t know if I could do the meme yet… Might be time for a nap…

Holly, you raise an interesting point–I think I would go for the group dinner, because I would like to see what Jane Austen would make of, say, Michael Ondaatje. And because I am far less freaked out in a group setting than I am one-on-one (where I tend to chatter on like a TOTAL MORON, much like I do here! ha ha ha).

Either way, it would be a boob-worthy occasion.

And Pissed-Off Progressive, I think I love you.

Only 5 for dinner, mmm that’s hard. Off the top of my head I’d pick

1 Bjork
2 Matthew Barney
3 Kathy Acker
4 David Bowie
5 Roman Polanski

and I’d want David Suzuki, Noam Chomsky, Germaine Greer, Julian Cleery and Dame Edna Everage to gatecrash…

But now I’m too scared to show up for dinner! God what would I wear?

and George Clooney to gawk at…

Noam Chomsky! I haven’t thought about Chomsky in years. He WOULD be fun at dinner.

I love little kid jokes, and this one has something for everyone. He thinks it’s funny because cats are bonking into trees; you think it’s funny because you were expecting the bar and the priest and the rabbi…

This meme could be fun. I’ll think it over and post on the weekend. If I remember. I have no memory. At all.

And the boob thing? Men do really talk to them, you know: is this a good thing or a bad one by you??

So I’m curious, what was so stupid about leasing a car?

And #2, doing anything on Sunday?

Great list! You inspired me to do my own.

The cat joke is hilarious. I’ve completed your meme, BTW.

OK, here goes with the other questions…

1. Marrying my first Husband (TOTAL LOSER)

2. Not getting seperated and divorced from my first husband faster (Marriage to divorce in 3 years)

3. and DITTO Susan… I saved all of my daughter’s baby pictures to a crappy old hard which is now dead too. HUGE REGRET!!!

Definately my daughter. closely followed by my husband not too far behind.

If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

1. YEAH, I’m with you Susan bigger boobs without surgery would be awesome!!!
2. another baby
3. enough money for us to be comfortable for life

Name two things you regret your city not having…

1. more large, strong and proud non-white communities
2. Real Snow

1. awful people
2. food poisoning

having a baby

Clare

Hooray for Clare! I’m so glad you played!

Food poisoning should be avoided at all costs.

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