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Filed Under pretty things on May 4, 2009

This is a terrible picture — I took it with my phone, after dinner and a margarita. I really needed to lie down and have a nap, and actually as soon as I took this, I put my pajamas on (you can see them on the bed there behind me). Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way …

Last week the New York Times ran a piece on chic looks for women over 40. And I was all hooray! because I’m over 40 and every time I go to the mall I feel like I might as well start packing for the retirement home. Unfortunately, this particular essay, and it’s accompanying slide show (which you totally need to watch) made me feel like I need to be working about twice as much because apparently I cannot afford to dress like a grown up, even though I am one.

Sample: “But, looking at a $1,400 silk print dress, Brana said with a rueful laugh, ‘I don’t know anymore if that’s expensive or not.’ She decided that it was a good buy, along with a $2,100 metallic leaf-patterned coat at Marc Jacobs and a below-the-knee striped jersey dress with a long, winding sash.”

Well, where I live, $1,400 dresses are still expensive. But maybe that’s just me.

On Saturday, Wade’s parents took us all to see The Lion King (see it if you can! so fabulous!). We made the boys put on nice shirts, with collars, and shorts that were not meant for playing soccer, which nearly KILLED THEM OMG MOM YOU ARE SO MEAN!!! because I’m a big believer in looking nice for things, especially for things like an afternoon at the theater with your grandparents.

Call me old fashioned. Whatever.

I wore a whole lotta’ J. Crew, but the funny thing was this: Every single thing I had on was purchased on sale, or with a discount coupon, or both. The whole outfit (which I did not buy all at once because I am always buying investment pieces that can go together and oh look! it totally works, that theory about the carefully edited closet! go figure) — the whole outfit cost me probably $150.00. Maybe $200 if you include the shoes and the necklace.

And those pieces — the shoes, and the necklace — were both splurges.

I’m so tired of hearing about how you can only shop your closet if you have a closet full of Prada, and how pieces that cost more than what I will spend on summer camp for both my kids, combined, are a “good investment.” That white jacket — which was originally $148.00 but is on sale for $99.00 and was mismarked in the store here for $89.00, in addition to the 25% off coupon I had in my wallet — was a splurge at $67.00. The silk tank under it is from two (three?) years ago; I own those same pants in seven colors, because they fit me perfectly. That black pair was $19.99 on final sale last fall. I’ll buy another black pair when they mark them down this year, too.

I do believe in buying quality pieces and taking good care of them (I hand wash those pants, you all, every single pair of them, and line dry them, and then I iron the black ones inside out to keep them from fading). And I know that I am fortunate to be able to splurge on a jacket — or a necklace or shoes or all three — in this economy. But I find it incredibly depressing that fashion writers keep insisting that pieces that cost more than a car payment or a house payment or a student loan payment are necessary parts of an adult woman’s wardrobe.

It annoys me to no end.

I’m curious, though — what are you splurging on these days? And what counts as a “splurge?” Is it a $1,400.00 silk dress, or a $15.00 manicure? Or are you hiring a sitter or paying a housekeeper? Or is the idea of the splurge passe now that we’re all tightening our belts?

My belt, by the way, came from the clearance rack at Target, in case you’re wondering.

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A $1,400 dress is not a splurge. I don’t even know what to call it, besides “obscene.” (If you have the money for it, fine. Just don’t go telling everyone else it’s a splurge. Seriously.)

I also buy all my clothes on sale unless it’s something I have to have, and that’s rare. I don’t really think I have splurged in a while, but it’d be a manicure or something that makes me feel good but doesn’t cost more than most people’s monthly mortgages. That’s just me, though.

I admit that we have not tightened our belt a whole lot in my house. I think I cook dinner more and we eat out less, but we still eat out. Splurging for me lately has been switching from buying my kids all Target and 2nd hand clothes to ordering from Gymboree online, because they have much cuter clothes for boys and they hold up SO much better…I am just discovering this with kid #2. Also I cruise through the Target ladies section once every week or two and I have found some cute things for myself, which I still consider a splurge because you should see how packed my closet is. Prada? In my dreams.

Normally a “splurge” to me would be a $150 pair of designer jeans. But my most recent splurge? TWO NEW TIRES FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $250. I know.

(WISHING I could splurge on the beautiful orange Badgley Mischka bag I saw in the store here in LA a month ago when BF’s Stepmom was trying on gowns for BF’s 1/2 sister’s Bat Mitzvah. And OH! Couldn’t you just tack this beautiful $400 bag onto the $1500 gown you just bought that’s not even FOR the blessed event?! Maybe my sister wouldn’t mind if I got the bag in lieu of throwing her bachelorette party…)

Um, $1,400 for ANY single item of clothing is flat-out ridiculous. I love nice things, but I am allergic to paying full price for anything.

However, I did just splurge on a pair of black Joe’s cigarette jeans. I work in a casual office, so jeans in all their various flavors are a daily staple for me.

That is simply too much to spend on a dress! Even if I had that kind of money, there are other things to purchase. Clothes right now are not on my purchase list, mainly because I am expecting and much rather wait until I am skinny again. I do love good clothes and love good sales even better. My favorite store is Ann Taylor Loft. I could spend so much in there. As for spurges, a sitter is a spurge for a date night and we aren’t eating out as often. My dh still has a good job, but we want to have extra in saving just in case.

I splurge on a couple of mini boden pieces a year for my kids, each, once they have the ‘buy three get one” sale - because you can get some very cute ’statement’ pieces that the rest of their Target wardrobes can build from. I will splurge on sandals, when I find the right pair of wedgie sandals - and by ’splurge,’ I still mean under $100. Also, bought some fantastic white jeans at Banana Republic - on sale, with a gift certificate + a $15 off Happy Birthday coupon from Banana… which earned me the right to buy a second pair.. in dark denim (which is why I need the wedge sandals…) $1400 sounds like my annual clothing budget - for me and three kids. (Husband is on his own…)

I saw that article, too, and about flipped. For me, ANYTHING over $50 is a splurge, and the closer I can get it to $20 (or less) is even better. My teen daughters are learning to shop the sale racks and hit thrift stores for gently used classics. Seriously, what item of clothing is EVER worth $1,400 or more? People take themselves far too seriously and spend their money far too easily if they’re spending like that, IMO.

I tend to buy only on sale and only if I need something. I am considering a splurge on a pair of designer sunglasses but only because I pay cash for 98% of my purchases, and my other sunglasses are about 15 years old! I did splurge on a very expensive college grad present for my daughter, something she’ll have for the rest of her life–a great watch. Paid cash of course! I’m grateful we are still working and my dh has a good job.

I’m 38 weeks pregnant, so no clothing splurges for me at the moment. (Unless you count the maternity Easter dress which has been worn only once…still, it was on sale for ~$30). My big splurge at the moment is regular pedicures. I can’t bend over to reach my feet and the weather is warming up and I don’t want ugly/unpainted toenails in the stirrups do I?

I splurge on groceries. Seriously, this is my weakness - lots of good food. I will wear that $4 clearance-rack-at-Target tank top for 2 years just so I can buy really good gorgonzola.

Amen Missy! Although I did have to stop shopping for all of my groceries at Homeland and Akins. I’ve reluctanly returned to Wal-Mart becuase I don’t live reasonably close to a Super Target. But I will gladly spend that extra $ for organic produce and exotic cheese.

I splurged on a $17 pizza this weekend which lasted three meals.

AND! My wedding dress (WEDDING DRESS) cost $250. I cannot fathom spending $1400 on ANYTHING that does not have a motor.

Holy cow! I’m with Annika - my wedding dress was less than $500 (used AND including alterations).

My splurge is still my $60, every-six-weeks haircut. I feel SO pampered after I walk out that it lasts me all the way to the next appointment! I figure that $10/week on a splurge isn’t so bad.

My cut back has been to sacrifice both of my twice-weekly Starbucks. It doesn’t save much money, but emotionally I feel like I’m sacrificing.

We also eat out a LOT less.

I consider a $15 manicure a splurge and a pair of $100 jeans a necessity. Go figure.

But being able to walk in, have someone hand me a pair of jeans that fits and makes my butt look smaller, and be out the door in less than ten minutes really IS a necessity. Lest I break down in the dressing room and sob like a sleep-deprived toddler.

My wedding dress didn’t even cost $1,400, and that is about the only piece of clothing that I would even consider spending that much on. I’m a clearance rack/on sale girl. Plus I’m a SAHM so my wardrobe pretty much consists of jeans, shorts, t’s, and sweatshirts. The few nice pieces I do have get rotated for church (and the like) and last for years.

Just watched the slide show. I can’t help feeling that the people on the coasts don’t have a clue what is going on in the middle of the U.S. ! A long, grey jersy dress? Can you see that at work, the tennis banquet or cocktails on the river?

My health insurance costs $1,500 — for ONE SEMESTER. So forgive me if I find $1400 for a dress a “splurge.”

I tend to splurge most on my kids — Hanna Andersson or Crewcuts (on sale of course). But I recently bought myself an $80 poplin blazer (khaki) at Banana Republic. It was on sale, and it is so versatile and tailored. Goes with jeans and can be worn with trousers.

Up next? A nice pair of shoes — like, not from Payless shoes.

i got a manicure and pedicure last week and that was a great splurge. i live in nyc and i certainly know women who have the kind of wardrobes profiled in that article. i own one pair of joe’s jeans that i got more that 50% off. everything else is mostly target, old navy and ny and company. my kids are still wiping pirate’s booty and snot on me, i’m not investing much in this wardrobe! and i’d much rather pay for camp than get a jacket. i suppose if i ran in different circles than i do, i’d need some of that stuff, but then what would i do with my kids all summer?!

The idea of spending $1400 on a dress is so out of the realm of what I would ever do that I can’t even imagine it ….

I hate shopping because I’m overweight, so if I find something that fits and looks nice, I’ll pay full price — and still consider that splurging. I’d love to shop clearance and thrift and discounts, but its really hard when you’re shopping plus size. Or at least I think so. But still — unless it makes me look like Angelina Jolie, no way would I spend that much!

$1400? That pays for nearly five months of rent and all utilities where I live. That’s three full semester-long courses at my university. That’s five round-trip flights back to my home.

My “splurges” are going out to dinner for $9.95 instead of staying home and cooking food from the discount grocers. I am lucky that I don’t need to splurge on clothing - my jeans are $10 from the children’s store… and if I ever need to look like a mature adult, my interview outfit was $17 total from WalMart.
(But sometimes I look at my kid neighbors all in fashion gear and wish I had the money for that kind of thing…)

I think my entire wardrobe is worth around $1400. Flip flops, Billabong, Hurley, some shorts from Old Navy, (all bought on sale) and a few flirty dresses from TJ Max….and lots of swim suits and board shorts. I would not spend $1400 on a dress if someone gave me the $ and told me to buy it.

I splurge on camera equipment. I use $ I make freelancing for the paper, and I buy the best. So, where I will gladly spend $1800 for a new lens, someone else may think that is insane.

It all comes down to perspective.

For me the joy of splurging is quantity. I recently bought a new trench coat for a little over $100, and that was definitely a splurge. But it was a decent quality coat and should last a long time. For me a splurge is dropping the same amount of cash at Old Navy, where I’ll get 5-6 shirts, all of which are cute and trendy, but none of which will hold together by the end of the season.

I bought a pair of jeans for $112.00. I considered that a huge splurge. Then they fell apart a few months later. I think I’ll stick with my usual, far less expensive jeans, from now on.

Designer items with their insane price tags are not for me.

PS: I love your shoes.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes too. Please let us in on where to purchase those!

I don’t even know what to say abt spending $1400 on an article of clothing- it seems like a ridiculous waste of money to me.

My splurge is my monthly spa pedicure for $45, but only during the spring/summer months. And I have to admit, I feel guilty spending that much on my feet, but I loooves my flip flops so it’s GOT to be done!

I’m splurging on professional hair coloring, because I tried doing myself and it was too, too orange.
I hated that article in the NY Times. I don’t mind that some people spend $1000 on an item, but like you I am annoyed that they call it “investment dressing.” Admit that you are rich and call it what it is: “conspicuous consumption.”
Because my husband still has his job, for now, I don’t want to cut back too much. I feel like I have to keep the economy going to make up for those people who HAVE to cut back. I’m trying to spend more money in my community instead of finding deals online. Or I buy from the crafters on Etsy.

I splurge on paper craft supplies. For the last eight years, clothes have been an afterthought for me. $60 on a bind-it-all is nothing, but more than $20 for a shirt, and I’m not buying. My big clothing splurge in the last two years was the dress I wore to my husband’s military retirement ceremony…bought at Macy’s on sale for a shocking $80. I thought I was going to throw up handing over the debit card for that one. Do you know how many rubber stamps and ink pads that would buy?!?!

I finally realized after 3 kids that my splurge is going to be jeans. I’m nearing 40 and it just costs a little more to get jeans that look freakin’ fabulous (and if they don’t, well, really what’s the point?p.s. the really pricey jeans know where to put the pockets to make your ass look good). But that’s because I’m a jeans girl. So even if I spend $250 on a pair, I wear them every single day, seriously, EVERY SINGLE DAY for years. So it’s like 1/4 a penny/day.
Meanwhile, that photo is totally adorable. And I love love the shoes. And am jealous that you can wear flats and look so cute.
Crap, better go, I was only supposed to come in here to start a load of laundry….

A sewing class starts this week teaching a technique I would love to learn. $100 for the class plus probably $75 for materials. I’m still thinking….

I splurge on the delicious frozen coffee drink on the way to work (middle school where I teach.)
I don’t get it every day, but when I do, it is a magnificent delight.

I love all the comments!! Glad there are lots of us who agree - I’m not sure I could spend $1400 on a dress…even if I had the money. I see that as an absurb amount of money to spend on a dress. I’ve splurged on shoes and for me that was about $100…felt guilty about them for a while but oh I loved them!

I consider it a splurge if we eat at In-N-Out more than once in a week. It’s a splurge if I can manage to go out to lunch with other moms once a month. I’m so ready to splurge on a pedicure or maybe a haircut not done by my own hand.

By the way… saw a flag at a flower shop that made me think of you. It read “Wine a Bit, You’ll Feel Better”.

omg i read this article and was CRACKING up on the train. seriously?! it was such a joke …

i tend to splurge on unique pieces not like your basic tees or sweaters- and pants that fit well. anthropologie and jcrew tend to be my weakness but i try to stick to just sales!

and these days a mani pedi is totally a splurge- i just do my own nails now!

Splurge for me these days is a Starbucks latte. Recently unemployed I am really watching my pennies. I was in NYC - the last travel with my old job - when the Times article came out and I too was dismayed that as a 40+ woman I would have to spend $1400 to look good. It’s great to know that you can look great for $150, thanks!

These days anything not mandatory (read: bills) feels like a splurge, and I look forward to the day (I assume it will come someday, when I’m possibly doing some kind of paid work again rather than raising babies full-time) when a $15 manicure isn’t a splurge, but is just fine.

In the meantime, I shop at Target and Kohl’s, but I do “splurge” on 2 things that I deem absolute necessities but others may not: my $90 running shoes (I am an avid runner) and my 4 x/year hair cuts/colors.

I just got a haircut for the first time in a year and a half. I was waiting until my husband and I were both employed, and that has yet to happen, but I felt so gross that I had to do it. It was a splurge that I’m totally glad I made.

I’ll confess that I didn’t read the NYT article (which may have answered the following question) … but who the heck is buying $1400 dresses? I mean, my husband is an equity partner with a major law firm, and I would NEVER spend that much on a dress. My wedding dress barely cost that much. And I don’t think my friends with similar family incomes would spend that much on a single item of clothing, either.

My lifestyle splurges are weekly housecleaning service and regular hair cuts and highlights, along with the $150 monthly AT&T bill so the hubby and I can check e-mails and Facebook on our iPhones. A fashion splurge for me is heading to the local clothing boutique with my treasured “40% off one item” postcard coupon and buying one item not because I will go naked if I don’t buy it, but just because. I do believe in buying quality items, which is why I will happily spend $50 on a Lilla P tee (although I found them for less at sierratradingpost.com recently!) versus picking up a cheap tee at Target, but I buy much less. My family laughs at my closet — there are literally only about 4 pairs of pants and a few skirts hanging in there. I buy less, and wear everything like crazy. But nothing cost me $1400, not even my Burberry trench coat from my working days…that’s nuts to spend on one item!

For me, its the twice monthly housekeepers that do the heavy cleaning, reducing a great deal of marital tension in the process. (I don’t mind continually picking up the clutter so much if someone else is scrubbing the bathroom and mopping the floors.) And, I just did the math and realized we spend less on them in a year than that dress in the article.

Our household splurge is having the lawn mowed/maintained. It is definately a choice between having a housekeeper come once a week or having the lawn maintained and we chose the lawn because everyone sees it. Also, I love driving up the the house and seeing the freshly mowed grass and weeded bed and driveway edging. If we did this ourselves it wouldn’t be so pretty. So, the lawn is our splurge. Aren’t we exciting.

A splurge for me is a take-out latte, sadly. I envy your dedication to sale shopping - I really must get more on the ball with that one. At the moment I am learning the power of regular charity shop visits, and being first to the New Old Stuff.

I agree with you 100%.
Certain staples (i.e. black pants, a good cardigan etc) should be quality pieces, but they need not break the bank. I live in Canada, hence no jcrew (boo). I turn to the Banana Republic sale rack for my go-to items. If you sign up to their email list serve, you get notifications of upcoming promotions. There is never ANY reason to pay full price there!!
Splurges…hmm…a good pair of leather everyday shoes perhaps? I could use a pair of those!

I don’t know ANYONE who wears $1500 dresses. Really, WHO are these people?

My younger kids are still too young for me to consider buying anything would make me go crazy if it got peanut butter smeared on it.

I am willing to “splurge” on shoes, handbags or coats, but by splurge, I mean pay over $100. Although lately, Target and Old Navy have such cute shoes, bags and coats, I don’t even splurge on those much anymore.

I guess my splurge would be my once-a-month housekeeper, because I decided she is cheaper than a psychologist.

I splurge on things still…from a variety of places. I would say my every 7 weeks hair cut and highlight at $100 a shot is a splurge, but I consider it more of a necessity due to the nature of the beast…errr, my hair, and my hairdresser is like my psychologist, too.

I splurge on books because I read a few authors who are very popular and when their newest books come out I need to have them immediately - no wait listing at the library for those.

Oh, and shoes - fun shoes in fabulous colors….I can never say no to them, and some of them may be considered splurges.

I also read the NYTimes article with a furrowed brow after being so excited by the headline…
I splurge on coats/jackets, jeans, boots and facials.

Just here to vouch for the fact that you do hand wash/wash your pants inside out/hang dry your clothes. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, people. Try going to Susan’s house and not leaving with some fascinating way to do laundry. Seriously, a trip to OKC will do so much good for your clothes.

We have not cut back at all. Over the last few years 5 of our 6 kids have left home/married/graduated college and that has left us with more disposable income than ever before. Emptying the nest is a good thing The only aspect of the economy that has affected us is the stock market but we are still years (and years) from retirement so we are trying to invest more now that prices on (what will be) good stocks are down. That said, I would never spend $1400 on a dress! A pair of Jimmy Choos maybe but not a dress (just kidding). I felt like I splurged on my outfit for my daughter’s upcoming wedding which cost $358 for the dress, jacket and shoes.

I completely agree with you. I only buy clothing items that are on sale, or at a consignment shop, where I can use credit from stuff I’ve sold to them. Our splurging is going out to dinner after having 3 baseball games in one day.

Very interesting post, Susan! I understand the idea of investing in quality but I cannot fathom spending as much as a mortgage or rent payment on any article of clothing! It is so beyond me. I know there are people in the world that would think the prices in the article are reasonable, but I have never met them. I did read a great article recently about the resurgence of the Brahim (ie: dented Volvo, old clothes, yet weathly) culture– when thrift was fashionable and people saved not spent.
I don’t believe in complete deprivation though! I am shopping smarter, for items that I really want and fill a hole in my wardrobe. I’m consigning and selling items I no longer want or need to free up a little extra money for buying new things. One thing I can’t scrimp on, and it’s a big splurge, is my hair! I wish I could be satisfied with my natural hue but forget it. No matter what you wear, if you hate your hair, it will be a bad day. I’m still hopelessly devoted to my highlights!

I don’t think all the items of mine in our closet add up to $1400. That’s insane. As for splurging? Since I’m a SAHM I’d say either the $50 for tennies since I’m at the gym 5 days a week or the $50 for jeans that I’ve had for over 4 years now, or maybe paperback book once a week. *G*

Splurging? Is buying some short sleeved shirts for my son for the coming hot months. The last item I bought for me was a pair of Lucky Jeans on ebay. And that was around $15-20. Oh, and a last year’s Vera Bradley bag at Marshalls. Those are splurges. I can’t afford anything else.

Sadly my splurges these days are groceries. Oh and gasoline. Whoo! I live dangerously, let me tell you.

I’m addicted to thrift stores and my latest “splurge” was buying my granddaughter a coat, LL Bean, for 3 dollars. It is in perfect condition and will be great for next year’s winter coat. It is a splurge because it isn’t an essential purchase and because I already have a “Grandma’s house” coat for her to wear.

I agree with everything you wrote! My splurges are about in the same range as yours, and I’m thrilled when I can make them. I splurged on a large salad bowl with a lid and built in tongs for work today. Does that count?

I’m with Annika, too. My wedding dress cost $212 and the whole wedding less than $5000 - ferrying 130 guests to the island included. Real people - like the kind I ever meet - wouldn’t spend $1400 on a dress, even if they could. All the things that $1400 could do…makes me ill to think of someone wearing it! I ’splurge’ on housey items. TJ Maxx, Stein Mart, etc…Just got an awesome amber glass Buddha to display on my china cabinet and remind me to breathe and be. Bummer that the magazine (can’t remember the name right now) that wrote for more realistic spenders couldn’t make it a go - I guess if we’re really thrifty, we don’t even buy a mag about thriftiness!!

You’re so right! A million years ago when I got married, my gown was a sample and my shoes were from a going out of business sale.

These days, as a divorced single, my latest splurge is my house, which was listed at 125k and I got for 102k. Go me!

I just splurged on a bunch of “lazy mom” food: frozen pizza, taquitoes, etc. I’ve stashed them in the deep freeze and will pull them out when I’m too tired to cook instead of eating out.

I tried on the cutest top today. Made of recycled materials by a local designer. Fit very well. But it was $130. I might have splurged at $70. But even then, it was a bit too obviously refashioned and my wardrobe has too many holes for me to be spending that kind of money on one piece.

I frequently feel the same way. Last month two of the magazines I subscribe to ran “fashion for the recession” pieces. One had pieces no more expensive than $50 and the other had pieces no more expensive than $400…guess which one spoke to me more…

A splurge for me is my pedicure that I get every 6 weeks…$25. I’m currently investing everything I can into a house fund so I can one day have a real home so $25 is a lot to me.

When I splurge it’s usually on the kids. But when it’s on me, I will buy 3 dresses all half price but still costing a fortune!!

I agree with Missy. I buy cheap clothes for myself (save the occasional Loft piece, on sale!) and gorgonzola for dinner. Last night I went to the Goodwill and bought 12 books for $30 and felt like it was a total splurge. But it was better than my splurge last week, a new book on sale ($10.) I guess you can tell $1,400 is 2X what we paid for our car.
I wish I could see the necklace you mention in the post.

I splurged on four t-shirts at the Gap last week, $18.50 each, because they were so pretty I couldn’t resist. That was the most I’ve spent on clothes in about 3 years.

I should tell you that I’m 27 and not a mom.

I saw this obviously months after it was posted, but still wanted to comment. The economy is worse and our budgeting is getting tighter. I remember when my kids were little and I had phases…married phase and shopping at Macy’s..one day sale mind you and loading up on Oshkosh..made in the USA then (circa 1980’s) and my divorced phase…poorer than field mice..working 2-3 jobs as an Rn, but we were happy and if I could buy 1 new shirt for my boys for school starting and new shorts (had moved to the south and it was hot hot hot) I was lucky…my daughter had many things and we were able to share and older than her brothers…so yes tough times teach you WHAT is important… AND $1,400 items of clothing are not it. I used to watch that show with Stacy and Clinton on Friday nights. Now, it just gets on my nerves. Sorry, but put a show on where you are shopping at Target and show us how to dress ourselves from there. THAT is the real world Stacey and Clinton. I used to splurge on Vera Bradley…now I think WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING OR NOT THINKING…all the nurses on my floor did it….ugh! what a waste! Now, I save every penny with my new husband retired from the fire dept and going back to school… With this economy and the uncertainty, we just hold on for our 6 kids and 2 grandkids. God Bless everyone.

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