Friday Playdate » Blog Archive » booze, boobs, and babies (of the water variety); or, How I Spent Memorial Day Weekend

Look! It’s my fabulous Fussy tee! The shirt showed up about 36 hours after I broke the camera, thus preventing me from properly and publicly saying THANK YOU to Mrs. Kennedy, and telling her how much I love it because it’s cool and it makes my boobs look bigger!

Yes, really. That is a GREAT shot of my cleavage. Isn’t that sad?

Today, to entertain myself, I Googled “bra size calculator” and then went to about ten different sites to see what size bra I should be wearing. I got everything from “size 36 (does not require a bra)” to a 34B, which seems overly optimistic to me, to “ERROR our system does not recognize the numbers you have inputted.” Mostly, though, I seem to be a 34AA, although the three sites that told me that ALSO told me that they don’t carry bras in that size.

Like I didn’t already know that.

For the most part, I don’t mind being flat chested, but swimsuit season is always a nightmare. It is nearly impossible for me to find suits that fit both my Mom Ass and my pre-teen boobs. One piece suits are out of the question, as is virtually any suit with built-in padding (which is REALLY depressing, because if ANYONE could use some padding, it’s me). I can find bikinis that fit, but seriously, who wants to see me in a bikini? (Keep it to yourself there.) This weekend, I managed to find a basic black tankini, although I tried on no fewer than TEN size SMALL tops before I found one that fit (I love that the SAME article of clothing in the SAME size and color can fit so differently–no, actually, I don’t).

We went to the pool on Saturday, which was lots of fun if you don’t count the fact that I got a sunburn, right in the middle of my back. The boys had a huge time; Henry jumped right in and started swimming, and Charlie discovered that he can touch the bottom in the shallow end of the big pool this summer, which is a little sad because THIS year, when my kids seem to have outgrown the baby pool, the club has installed a fantastic umbrella to shade the deck next to the baby pool–you know, so that all the mommies don’t have to sit in the sun while their kids swim. Like I’ve done for the past THREE YEARS.

It’s a good thing I found a swimsuit that fits, because I’ll be in the water ALL SUMMER, apparently.

Charlie does his best Michael Jordan impression.

You’ve gotta love those goggles.

Henry and Charlie check out a cute little girl in the baby pool, while Wade checks out a cute big girl on the deck.

We swam and ate and drank and ate and played at the park and ate and watched movies and ATE and drank and drank and drank. Oh, and Wade worked, which kind of sucked for him, and I went shopping, which would have been really fun except that I was shopping for a bathing suit, which just made me wish I had eaten less. And also made me want a stiff drink.

Speaking of stiff drinks, everyone needs to go back to the comments for this entry and see Adria’s drink suggestion. You also need to pick up some margarita mix at Williams Sonoma and try that out (shake them up your martini shaker, of course). And don’t forget about Ramblin’ Educat’s margarita slushies.

Margaritas for everyone! And I’ll be sporting my Fussy tee at the pool, because my boobs can use all the help they can get.

16 Comments so far

Trying on swimsuits is the worst!!!! I always put it off, and then when I finally get around to shopping for one, the selection is just sad.

I wore a ’swim dress’ at the pool this weekend because my bathing suit was too small and I couldn’t figure out a way to explain why I would be crying while trying on bathing suits at the mall to Noodle. Hubby had to work all weekend too (so I couldn’t shop in my misery alone) so I wore a bathing suit much too small (from just last summer) and dress over it, thus a swim dress. Fortunately I never had to jump in and save Noodle. Adria’s margarita recipe will be used this summer…it is too tantalizing to resist.

Oy–the dreaded swimsuit. Can’t even discuss it. Sounds like you had a good weekend though! I’ll write about my week at some point.

Your family is so sweet!
And go Henry for swimming!

Sounds like you’ve got a wonderful summer in store!

Oh, and I don’t have any boobs, either. I wear a padded bra. Sigh. Post-nursing boobs are a tragic sight.

P.S. I had a whole blenderful of fruity daquiries this weekend and I was thinking of you! Different booze, but hey, same idea!

I have friends who work at williams sonoma, we have decided that the cosmo mix is without a doubt their best.

just fyi.

Oh, I suggest finding a rash-guard shirt in a adult size, they’re spf 40 or something delightful like that. They also are made to get wet, so yeah, goes over well on my pasty-as-hell skin.

I’ve recently realized that my bosom is at least 6″ lower than pre-babies. My suit (Lands End tankini) must Lift & Smash, Tuck the Tummy, Hide the Cellulite on the Rear (the thigh ripples are on display), and Compliment my pre-tan Skin.

A tall order!

I also dread trying on swimsuits. I am never the size I want to be and most styles are not to my liking. It makes me feel like the fashion world is there to drive us crazy.

I really must get one of those T-shirts. You are adorable.

And my boobs need all the help they can get.

Your swimsuit sounds great! Where did you get it? I go for tankini’s myself.

I love Williams Sonoma margarita mixes and Martini mixes.

You and Chris should commiserate on the bra thing. I’ve been shopping for them recently and I’ve got problems of my own, not to be discussed on your blog.

I have the Fussy t, too! Of course, I don’t look as good as you do…
http://felicityatheling.typepad.com/photos/me_me_me/9705_012.html
As far as swimsuits? I did mention my burkha plan, right? Last year Fin kindly asked me Why are your legs all lumpy, Mom? (at the pool, referring to cellulite) and just recently he told me I look like I”m pregnant. HA! Big fun.

Those are some seriously adorable boys… all three of them. But especially the little ones.

I bought a swimming suit I sorta liked at Target in 2000, when I thought I’d join a gym (but joined an aerobics/yoga studio instead). I found it recently. It still has the tags on it.

I make it a point to always comment on blog entries which discuss boobs. However, having a Y-chromosome negates the validity of any comment I’m likely to make, as does my juvenile sense of humor.

So…cute kids!

We are not beach people. Try living on Cape Cod and explaining to everyone why they won’t be seeing you at the pool, beach, or pond over the summer. My daughter is Nicole Kidman pale, my mom has had melanoma twice, and I weigh over 200 lbs. and HATE wearing a bathing suit and HATE even more the feel of having sand on me. My son is likely to take off running unpredictably, or decide to taste the sunscreen. We are NOT beach people. We are more wading pool people, or fenced-in playground people. Or air-conditioned museum people, really.

We set up the sprinkler in the backyard and let our Okapis run around - no bathing suit needed! Try it.

Margarita slushes? MMmmmmmmmm…Sounds delicious!

I have WAAAAAAY more boobs than anyone could ever want. And I’m willing to give them away, even, if you want. But you have to take an equal amount of gut, ass and thighs to go with them. (bonus: those are all NO EXTRA CHARGE!)

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