I had a plumber out to the house today, because we had a leak in the laundry room, or at least that’s what I inferred from the puddle that kept appearing on the floor after every attempt to mop it up. Since the little puddle kept appearing on the side of the laundry room furthest from the washing machine, I assumed that the leak was behind the drywall, which didn’t make me very happy, but still a leak is a leak and you’ve got to deal with it, right?
Right.
When Jason the plumber showed up (at 10:00 am, JUST as I was getting ready to go get my FIRST CUP OF COFFEE for the ENTIRE DAY dammit I mean woo plumber!) I told him the following story:
My dad was here over the weekend and he did some work on the toilet in our utility bathroom (the one off the kitchen — don’t ask why it’s the “utility” bath, that’s just what we call it) — mostly, he replaced the thingy inside that makes it flush (see why I need plumbing help???) but there was also something about how the knob that turns the water on and off was kind of not working so the water is turned all the way up and WHOA do we ever have strong water pressure in this neighborhood. And in case you happen to be my dad, I was not not SAYING that anyone messed up the plumbing work, I was just letting Jason the plumber know that we’ve been messing with the toilets.
Because you never know.
Then I take Jason the plumber in the laundry room, where the dryer is both pulled out into the middle of the wee tiny two-foot-square room AND running (because house guests! laundry! gah!) and I show him the leak. To do this, I have to hang over the dryer and shine a flashlight around the metal lint thingy that connects to the back of the dryer (yes I’m sure it has a name but that’s NOT MY JOB you all) because you can’t really see the leak without the flashlight.
With the flashlight, though, it is clear that there is water on the floor behind the dryer. NOWHERE NEAR THE WASHING MACHINE.
Because that is not the end of the story (hell no) I tell Jason the plumber that yesterday, I went to turn the dryer on and I thought I smelled something burning, which was of course IMPOSSIBLE, right, but I pulled the dryer out anyway because I am a worrier and found a lingerie bag that I lost like THREE MONTHS ago and thought WHOA THAT’S WHAT’S BURNING! but it turns out it was not burning, it was WET because we have a leak.
Which is clearly coming from behind the drywall, because where else would water be coming from on that side of the laundry room, where there is no water?
Jason the plumber was almost in a coma by the time I finished all that, but since I was paying him by the hour and that whole story took like 25 minutes to tell, how much could he complain, really.
So I go back into the office to work and he starts doing his plumber thing, which mostly consists of flushing the toilet in the utility bath and going, “Hmm. Hmm. HMM” a lot. And then I hear him in the laundry room, and then he comes in the office (which shares a wall with both the utility bath and the laundry room) and asks if the carpet is wet. And then I die a little because OH MY GOD HOW BAD IS IT?!?
And while he’s feeling the carpet and baseboards in the corner, he says, “I’m not finding a leak anywhere. Do you mind if I cut into the drywall in the laundry room?”
Sure why not!
Twenty minutes later, he comes back into the office and says, “Okay, this is the wierdest thing I’ve ever seen.” Which is NOT what you want the $80.00 an hour plumber to say, honestly, because “wierd” is always contractor code for “expensive.”
The deal is this: my pipes are fine (heh heh). It’s my DRYER that is leaking.
I know! What the hell?
That metal thingy, that funnels the hot air out of the dryer? FULL of SOAKING WET LINT. And THIS CLOSE to completely bursting into flames (okay the plumber didn’t say that but you could honestly smell the singed lint). We’ve always wondered about the lint trap on this dryer, mostly because it’s ALWAYS empty, which seemed a little odd — hey go figure the lint was TRAPPED IN THE BACK OF THE DRYER. Waiting to set my house on fire.
So I paid the plumber, and honestly it was the best $83.00 I’ve ever spent. Now I have a hole in my laundry room wall and a completely useless dryer, but at least I didn’t burn the house down. And before all this happened, I managed to get ALL the laundry done. Go me.