Caroline and I are in SteinMart; I’ve just finished a long rant about why the micro mini should ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER have made a comeback. EVER. Did you hear me? NO MICRO MINIS.

When I turn around and see . . . a micro mini. Made of bandanas. So I MUST show Caroline, because I’m like that when I shop.

Me: See! Look! What the hell is this?

Caroline: Oh, a handkerchief skirt. Nice.

Me: Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Caroline (who is a GOOD ten paces away from the Skirt in Question): Is that a skort? It’s a skort, isn’t it?

Me (looking): Uh, let’s see . . . Why yes, it IS a skort. How did you KNOW that?

Caroline: It’s a gift.

Me: I don’t know if I would admit that to too many people.

(Later when I told her about my secret longing for a pair of Take Outs, she said, “But wouldn’t it be weird to be busting a D cup one day and an A cup the next?” And twenty four hours later, I’m still giggling about her use of “busting.”)

(Also, I tried the SteinMart knock off version of the Take Out in my bra last night, and they were TOO BIG. Which is so depressing that I can’t even talk about it outside of these extra parentheses.)