Here’s an interesting confluence of events: the ever lovely Ramblin’ Educat has nominated me for a Blogger’s Choice award, for Best Parenting Blog. On the EXACT SAME DAY that I permanently alienated my six year old son!

Can you believe it? Because it’s true!

First things first: you can go here to vote for Friday Playdate, or you can click over just to see that my site has been tagged as containing ADULT CONTENT, which makes it sound so . . . I don’t know! So risque! What do you think they mean by “adult content”? Could it be all my talk of shoes?

Or is it the drinking? Because really, that IS only for adults. Mommy doesn’t want to share her margarita.

And now let me give you REASON to vote for me for Best Parenting Blog. Or Worst Mother, although I don’t have a link and a cute button for that. Sorry.

Last week, Henry came home from school with a birthday party invitation; it was a pirate party and the invitations were really clever, little bottles with sand in them, and a pirate eye patch and a plastic skull ring and the actual invitation. Henry managed to open the bottle IN THE CAR, dumping the sand all over himself AND THE CAR. So that was good.

I called and RSVPd and asked Henry if he wanted Mommy or Daddy to go with him to the party (”I want YOU to go, please!”) and told Wade that he needed to think of a Fun Thing to do with Charlie, who was feeling a little left out. And then I wrote it on the calendar for tomorrow and went on with my life.

Today I met Wade for lunch at La Baguette, and over our delicious French-themed sandwiches I reminded him about the birthday party and he said yes, he knew, and we talked about how nice it would be for him to spend some time with Charlie and how great it was that Henry was making friends and god isn’t our life just freakin’ PERFECT?!?

Dammit.

I spent the afternoon running around in the rain pricing hot water heaters, and then went to Target for the second time in two days to get everything to make Parmesan Breaded Chicken Breasts and then ran it all home and then went to get Charlie, only barely managing not to be late, and THEN went to get Henry, where I sat in the Longest Carpool Line Ever and tried not to swear at the people who were PARKING in front of me and then GOING INSIDE TO GET THEIR KIDS.

Because ARGH! Don’t park in the carpool line! I’m begging you!

When I finally make my way to the front of the line, Henry comes zooming out and hops in the car and announces, “PRESTON’S BIRTHDAY PARTY IS TODAY!”

I said, “No it isn’t.”

“YES IT IS AND I NEED TO GOOOOOOO!”

So I called Caroline, who was home with a sick toddler and really loved that my cell phone crapped out the first two times I called, requiring me to call her THREE TIMES, just to say, “WHEN IS THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY?”

And she said, “Today. Right now.”

And I may have said, “DAMMIT.” Possibly.

Henry cried most of the way home because by NOW it was past the start of the party and we didn’t have a present for Preston or a sitter for Charlie or any idea where we were going and there was no possible way we could get ourselves together in time to make the party. And as he was wailing away, my cold dead heart broke into a million pieces because I had disappointed him.

I was trying really REALLY hard not to say WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON? and WHY DIDN’T THE INVITATION SAY FRIDAY, APRIL 27TH? and BUT BUT BUT I THOUGHT . . . Because really, in the end, this was entirely my fault.

Wade called while Henry was in his room, SOBBING, and Charlie was cheerfully waiting for me to get him a snack and made the mistake of saying, “What’s going on there?” And I told him everything, about how Henry hated me and I felt terrible and he was yelling and screaming and I was getting really frustrated even though I was sympathetic and Charlie had a great field trip but it rained and so they came back to school for lunch but the kids didn’t care and we were trying to get ourselves ready to go to the video store and I AM THE WORST MOTHER EVER. He listened to everything and then said, “I’m three minutes from home. I’ll be right there.”

The boys are watching some horrible Batman video now, something about vampires, which probably guarantees that one or both of them will end up in bed with me at three am, but frankly, they can do whatever they want tonight. Because I feel terrible about the birthday party, even though WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON?

Best Parenting Blog. Good thing it’s not Best Parent. The rest of those folks wouldn’t stand a chance.