For the longest time, we thought Henry had Asperger’s syndrome. We had all sorts of reasons, but among them were some ‘classic’ autistic behaviours, including flapping his hands when he was excited (imagine the Chicken Dance gone wrong) and shaking his head rapidly from side to side when he was bored or tired. I’ve pretty much grown to ignore both of these things, except at the dinner table, where they pose a constant threat to the plates and glasses we are eating from.

Yesterday, after I picked Henry up at school, we came home to have lunch (yes, at 3:00 p.m.–he’s still not eating at school, although it doesn’t seem to be slowing him down any). The boys were at the table, finishing their sandwiches; I was standing at the counter, with my back to them, doing I don’t know what, when I heard a plate clatter onto the tabletop. I swung around and said, ‘Hey! What’s going on?’

I didn’t think I sounded too upset; I mean, I didn’t want anything broken, but they’re just dishes. But Henry started to cry. Wow, I thought, he must be really tired.

I knelt down next to his chair and said, ‘It’s okay, buddy, nothing broke.’ And then he REALLY started to wail. ‘My head! Ow! MY HEAD!’

I was completely baffled. ‘Henry, what happened?’

‘I HIT MY HEAD!’ he cried.

‘You did? On the table?’

‘NO! ON THE PLATE!’

Now I was starting to get the picture. ‘Buddy, what were you doing?’

‘I was going like this,’ he said, and started waving his head around like Stevie Wonder on crack, ‘and I hit my head on the PLATE! And it HURTS!’ By now, I could see a red welt on his forehead. Because, by god, he HAD hit his head! On the PLATE!

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, solely so he would not see that I was laughing uncontrollably.

Through all of this, Charlie went on eating his sandwich. When Henry finally pulled himself together, Charlie looked at him and said, ‘Henry, what did you do?’

‘I hit my head on the plate,’ Henry said sadly.

And Charlie started to laugh. And then Henry laughed. And I felt better, because really it was so damn funny.

He hit his head on a plate!

Sheesh.